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Smirnoff Double Black Blackademy – Style Tips for the Absolutely Clueless

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There’s nothing better than funny poking fun at the average Joe. He’s a bit lost in the style department, could use a bit of work with the ladies and well, etiquette? He’s still never opened a door for a woman not his mother. Lets be frank here: most guys, especially those who still subscribe to Maxim or wear unisex cologne are both clueless and everywhere still.

Smirnoff’s latest campaign of 15 second style advice clips titled Blackademy include an army of hindsight-obvious tips that we still see guys commit on a nightly basis. Tying it in with the Double Black – which combines a sleek new bottle design with a complex-tasting, triple distilled vodka – they’re out to put a smack down on those guys in dire need of the most important lessons post-puberty.

In a pinch? Takeout is way easier, but make sure it’s not Chinese or pizza. For instance, Hurrier. It’s independent, has a crazy selection of top gourmet, and getting a top rated takeout delivered by a dude on a bike? You can take it to the bedroom.

The good thing about iced art is that it’s short-lived and appealing to the eye: it’s there, and then it’s gone. If you suck at the chizzle, you can achieve similar rep points by having singular large ice cubes. And maaaaybe whiskey stones. Maybe.

Here’s a tip: Don’t use a straw. Ever. Guys don’t use straws. So stop.

OMG velcro wallet, gross! Men are known for being carnivorous when being asked to replace our ratty wallets. Replace it now with something slim; I bet you don’t need 95% of the junk you keep in there.

I approve of anything science.

One chip, two chips? Sure, take it from the bag and put it away. Even better than a bowl o’ chips, learn how to make a killer guacamole dip. Why are you still eating Lays, anyway?

 

  • I’m guilty of laundry days where matching wasn’t in the cards, but Smirnoff dude makes a good point. Symmetry is beauty.
  • Eye contact is incredibly important to convey confidence. If you’re really good, you’ll quickly understand that eye contact is all you really need.
  • At least the plaid wearing, death-gazing extra from The Big Bang Theory got the balls to talk to her.
  • Surprised Tattoo Bro didn’t get cookie-cut tribal. Or jail tats. Or a koi fish in a waterfall. What other types of cliche tattoos are there, anyway?
  • Dick pics: Don’t do it. Unless requested.

Check out more from Smirnoff’s Double Black Vodka here.

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